How to honour a parent who has passed at your wedding
Your wedding ceremony is a celebration of your love and the beginning of your next chapter together. While remembering someone you have lost can be deeply meaningful, you also want to make sure the acknowledgement feels right for you, your family and the overall feeling you want for your ceremony.
Whether it’s a much-loved parent, grandparent, sibling, friend or another special person who helped shape your life, we understand that it may feel important to you to acknowledge their presence on your wedding day.
So, we’ve put together these beautiful ways to remember someone special, without making the ceremony feel overly sombre or interrupting the natural flow of the celebration.
Here are some of our favourite ways to acknowledge a parent who has passed:
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Carry their memory with you in a locket or bouquet charm
Sometimes the most meaningful tribute is one that is just for you.
A small photograph can be placed inside a locket or miniature photo frame and attached to a wedding bouquet, tucked into a suit pocket or worn discreetly inside a jacket. You can view the full blog post of this wedding here.
We have seen this done beautifully at several weddings, acknowledging the bride’s father. As the bride walks down the aisle, they can feel he was with her in spirit.
You can view the full blog post of this wedding here.
Pictured here, delicate lockets containing a photograph of the brides father who has passed, attached to the brides bouquet.
It’s subtle, personal and incredibly meaningful.
We have seen brides carry small memory charms featuring photographs of parents or grandparents on their bouquets — a beautiful little detail.
2. Create a beautiful memory chair
A memory chair is a meaningful way to acknowledge someone special who has passed away.
Organise an additional wedding guest chair and you can create a thoughtfully styled tribute with a framed photograph and perhaps one or two personal items that belonged to them.
This could be:
- A favourite jacket (with a button hole flower added), a hat or tie
- An item in their favourite colour
- A favourite flower
- A small personal keepsake
- A framed photograph of the person
- A handwritten note or meaningful quote
It can be particularly special when the tribute is thoughtful yet understated.
The chair can be positioned amongst the guest seating, creating a subtle and beautiful reminder that although this person cannot physically be there, they remain very much part of your story.
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Have your wedding party place flowers on a memory chair
This is one of the most beautiful examples we’ve recently seen.
At a wedding where the bride was remembering her father, each bridesmaid walked down the aisle carrying a single white rose.
Rather than simply taking their place at the front, each bridesmaid gently placed her rose on a reserved memory chair.
By the time the bridal party had arrived, the chair had become a beautiful arrangement of white roses — a simple, meaningful and beautiful tribute.
It was such a lovely way to acknowledge the bride’s father while still allowing the ceremony to continue naturally. No lengthy explanation or elaborate ritual.
4. Include a gentle mention in your ceremony
For some couples, simply hearing their loved one’s name spoken and having the Celebrant acknowledge, that they are in their thoughts during the ceremony is incredibly important.
Your Celebrant might include a short and heartfelt acknowledgement.
You don’t need a long tribute or detailed story. Sometimes a carefully chosen sentence can say everything that needs to be said. Because while they may not be physically there to witness your wedding day, the love they gave you, the memories you shared and the person they helped you become are all part of the story that brought you to this moment.
5. Include a memory within your wedding attire
Your loved one doesn’t necessarily need to be acknowledged publicly at all.
Sometimes a private detail can be even more special, such as wearing a piece of their jewellery.
You could incorporate something belonging to them into your wedding attire. Here’s some ideas work well for grooms (and brides rocking a suit!). You could have their name embroidered on a handkerchief, have a small photo tucked inside your jacket or incorporate a piece of fabric from a favourite item of their clothing.
These are beautiful because you know they are there, even if your guests don’t.
6. Adapt the arrival – walk down the aisle
A bride that had sadly lost both of her parents, commenced the first half of her walk down the aisle alone, as she reached the halfway point, her groom walked towards her, and escorted her down the rest of the aisle, symbolising that he is now taking care of her, looking out for her and accompanying her through the rest of their lives.
7. Play their favourite song
Music can bring memories flooding back in an incredibly powerful way.
It doesn’t have to be part of the formal ceremony, consider playing some tracks by their favourite band or singer during your pre-ceremony music, signing, canapés or cocktail hour.
It could be a song that reminds you of them, a song they loved, or simply something that brings back a happy memory.
8. Give them a little nod during your wedding day
Remembering someone doesn’t have to happen during the ceremony.
One bride’s Sister had passed at a young age. Her Sister loved butterflies, so the bride choose to gently acknowledge her by including butterflies in the table styling, signage and her hair piece.
Other ways to acknowledge them throughout your wedding day could include:
- Serving their favourite dessert, cocktail or that shot they always did!
- Including their favourite flowers in your wedding bouquet.
- Choose a signature cocktail or welcome drink inspired by or in honour of them.
- Play their favourite music for your first dance.
These little details can make someone feel present in your wedding day without shifting the atmosphere away from celebration.
EXPERT TIP: Make sure your Photographer is aware of the way you have chosen to acknowledge a loved one, particularly if it’s subtle like a memory locket on a bouquet, so they can add this to their list of ‘shots to capture’ then the special photos like those featured here don’t get missed.
A little advice from your Celebrant
There is absolutely no right or wrong way to remember someone you love on your wedding day. If you choose to acknowledge a loved one on your wedding day, we encourage couples to think about how they want to feel during their ceremony.
As experienced Celebrants, we have seen just how quickly tears can flow when someone who has passed away is mentioned. And once the tears start, it can sometimes be difficult to regain your composure. Of course there is nothing wrong with crying on your wedding day. But you probably don’t want to be tearful for the entire ceremony (unless of course they are happy tears!)
This is exactly why we’re sharing these ideas so you can see what resonates with you, and to help you find a way to acknowledge someone (if you choose to) that feels meaningful without inadvertently creating a moment that is much more emotionally intense than you anticipated.
We encourage our couples to talk with us about how they would like their ceremony to feel, and what they would like to do.
Think about the timing, too. If your loved one’s passing is very recent, you may want to be particularly thoughtful about when and how they are acknowledged.
A wedding can naturally bring emotions to the surface, and that’s completely understandable. So for some a quiet, subtle or private tribute may be the best option, or you may find enormous comfort in openly acknowledging the person who you are dearly missing.
At With Love – Brisbane City Celebrants, we believe your ceremony should feel like ‘you’ (as a couple). Whether that means relaxed and informal, romantic and heartfelt, fun and cheeky, or the perfect combination of these.
We also believe that your ceremony should be enjoyable and flow seamlessly, with meaningful moments thoughtfully placed.
If you’re planning your Brisbane wedding ceremony and would love some guidance on creating something personal, meaningful and beautifully seamless, we’d LOVE to hear from you. Get in touch now to check availability for your special day.
With Love,
Jamie + Cara – Brisbane City Celebrants
Photo credits with thanks to our lovely couples and the following photographers: Studio Impressions, We are twine, Soda Photography, Elegante Moments & Todd Hunter McGraw.